| ||Tough choice, huh?|
Though many people I know would consider either option a special kind of hell.
I was going to run in the Providence half-marathon this Sunday. But last month, I decided I really want to get my ovarian cyst taken care of before I go through another pregnancy. April 30 was the only surgery date I could get that worked for both me and my doctor before July.
I suppose I didn't HAVE to cancel my 13-mile running plans for 4 days after surgery...I could have made Matthew push me along the course in a wheel chair. : )
For those unfamiliar with the story, this cyst is apparently what caused excruciating pain and a hospitalization when I was about 5 months pregnant with Katherine and excruciating pain, an MRI, and an extended stay in Colorado when I was about 5 months pregnant with Joshua.
Dr. Bert, an ob/gyn at my midwifery practice, has been following my case for several years. I consulted with him about the cyst when I got home from Colorado last year and again after Joshua was born. He said that since this is most likely a dermoid cyst, which grows very slowly, I don't necessarily need to get it removed right away. But since it seems to be exacerbated by pregnancy, and it seems that at the same stage in both pregnancies it started to twist the ovary and connecting tissue, causing swelling and pain, he agreed it makes sense to go ahead and remove it now. Thankfully there has not been any lasting damage to the ovary - I'd like to keep that the case. We make such cute kids that I think we need to make a bunch more.
I have been feeling anxious about the surgery. The JAG episode we watched the other night about a young woman dying on the Navy hospital operating table because the anesthesiologist messed up didn't help - general anesthesia is scary, though I've undergone it twice with no ill effects. Anyway, I figure I am just too pretty for God to let me die.
It's an outpatient procedure...I go in tomorrow morning for paperwork at 11, surgery is at 1, I'll be able to go home by 5. Of course Dr. Bert had to go over all the worst case scenarios. At one point in the post-op consult, he asked what my priorities were if somethings goes wrong (i.e. they have to start tying stuff off or something to control bleeding or some such). That's a scary question to consider. I told him that the first priority is doing whatever is necessary to save my life, but second to that, prioritize protecting my fertility. He knows we want to have more children and will take that into account.
Monday I was thinking about all this, and God very clearly reminded me that I've trusted Him with my fertility. In the past, that has meant to me that we're relying on God for our child spacing and our family size, being "open to life" in our marriage, as it were. The "peace that passes all understanding" flooded me as I realized "trusting God with my fertility" also means trusting him to protect me, and that if it's His will to bless us with more children, He is more than capable of bringing that about. I have placed this in His hands, and there's no safer place to be.
| ||Posted 4/29/2009 1:53 PM - 186 Views - 24 eProps - 14 comments|
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